BLOG
I started my journey of blogging in 2003 — mostly to capture what I called “transitioning life’s journey”.
In 2023 I took a 3 year break from blogging, but have decided to return to it. I hope you enjoy.
Explore by Topic
Search 20+ years of blog writing…
All writing is thought of, written and edited by me (a human), and sometimes AI is used in the research process.
Stuck in an Anxiety Rut
“Looking back at our families of origin and remembering these details can be a scary process for many people. Sometimes we are not quite sure what we will discover or remember, and that can leave us feeling anxious. That is normal. When we look back, and really try to sort through our relationships and experiences […]
How to Build a Thriving Therapy Practice: Give Yourself 5 Years
One of the things that my colleagues and I are constantly joking…and sometimes lamenting about — is that most graduate programs in therapy and counseling don’t teach you anything about the actual business application of what you have just spent the last 2-5 years studying and practicing. You learn a lot about therapy techniques, diagnosing […]
Welcoming the Uncertainty in Your Life That Anxiety Often Creates
“The truth is that our finest moments are most likely to occur when we are feeling deeply uncomfortable, unhappy, or unfulfilled. For it is only in such moments, propelled by our discomfort, that we are likely to step out of our ruts and start searching for different ways or truer answers.” (Scott Peck, The Road […]
How to Build a Thriving Therapy Practice: Become Clear About Yourself and Your Work
Last week I started a new blog series on Building a Thriving Therapy Practice. I will be completely honest with you. I don’t consider myself the expert on this topic. No surprise there. I haven’t written any books on it. If that’s what you want, Lynn Grodzki’s books are a great place to start. I’ve […]
Embracing Our Anxiety
I firmly believe as I have stated in many places, that our anxiety is a great opportunity for our growth. One of the first chapters in my book is about this idea of “embracing anxiety.” I know that anxiety can come in many forms and whatever you are experiencing, I want to acknowledge that, and […]
How to Build a Thriving Therapy Practice
It is not unusual for me to get about 5-6 messages a month from people who want to meet up either in person, or on the phone, to talk about building a therapy practice. For whatever reason these people have found what I’m doing as a therapist in private practice appealing, and they are curious […]
My Journey with Anxiety — What is Your Journey?
I have had a long journey with anxiety. And I can honestly say that I’m thankful for the anxiety that I have wrestled with. I don’t think I could, or would have said that while in the midst of my journey. But at times I can step back from it, gain some perspective — and […]
The Adventure of Anxiety…
“Learning to know anxiety is an adventure which every man has to affront if he would not go to perdition either by not having known anxiety or by sinking under it. He therefore who has leaned rightly to be in anxiety has learned the most important thing.” —Søren Kierkegaard in 1844
Are You Feeling Anxious or Depressed?
Since Mental Health month is this month, I want to encourage you in two ways: If you find yourself feeling anxious or depressed, I really encourage you to reach out and get the help that you need. If you know someone who is feeling anxious or depressed, I encourage you to reach out to that […]
Talking About Mental Health in the Church
Unless you have either experienced anxiety and depression yourself, or have sat present with those who have, then it’s pretty easy for us to make trite comments or give cliche answers to those around us. This is probably the single reason why I wrote The Anxious Christian: Can God Use Your Anxiety for Good?. I […]
What is your anxiety cutting you off from in your life?
When I was 11 years old and began to experience traumatic grief from the death of my mom from breast cancer after a five-year battle — my anxiety manifested itself in the form of stuttering. And stuttering, or my fear of making a fool of myself in front of my classmates cut me off from […]
Four possibilities that your anxiety could be a symptom of?
Did you know that anxiety is the most common mental illness in the United States for people age 18 and over? Or that affects 40 million adults (18% of the US population)? Did you know that only 1/3 of people who struggle with anxiety actually get help? And that women are 2x as likely to […]
Be the ‘Life-Giving’ Man That You and Others Deserve
Are you a ‘life-giving’ man? That is a question that I am often asked. It’s a term that I began to talk about in my last book, What it Means to be a Man. But I’ve begun to explore it more fully in the last 6 months and it is the focus of my online […]
Are you feeling burned out? Try self-care.
I just made it through a season where at moments I felt like I was on the verge of burnout. It just felt like a period of time when really big stuff…stuff bigger than usual was being juggled, and I was doing my best not to drop everything. Some of those things were: I was […]
3 Things to Practice When Taking the Risk to Ask for What You Desire in Your Relationship
I’ve been working with couples for a long time. And one of the most frighteningly, vulnerable moments that I watch most couples experiencing — is that moment when they have to take the risk and ask their partner for what they need/want/desire in the relationship. They may desire to have more help around the house. […]
Sex, Intimacy and Belonging in Marriage
“A sociologist once observed that the prevalence of intimacy themes in mass media, pop psychology, and ‘alternative lifestyles’ suggests that were driven by hunger for intimate union. It may look like this on the surface, but my clinical work helped me realize that there’s actually something else going on. We’re driven by something that makes […]
Why Ministry Leaders Don’t Get the Help They Need! (And What They Can Do About It)
I’ve grown up in the Church (son of church planters, pastor, spiritual director, chaplain). I’ve participated and volunteered in the Church my entire life. I’ve been on staff of churches for about 15 years. I love ministry, but I also know there are some inherent dangers in working in ministry. Burning out. Constant people pleasing […]
One Thing You Can Start Doing Now to Instantly Improve Your Marriage……
Sometimes I’m hesitant to bring this subject up because in the past it has sometimes been met with resistance and people making comments that I’m talking in generalizations, or anti-technology, some sort of luddite. Truth be told. I’m writing this post more for myself than anyone because I get caught up in technology that interferes […]
No Weak Men Allowed…..
No Weak Men Allowed….I think that is the message that men hear from the time they are little boys all the way through the rest of their lives. I know I have heard that message. I know the men I work with have heard that message. It may come from parents, grandparents, coaches, teachers, friend’s […]
Why Do So Many Ministry Leaders Who (Need) Desire Help…Refuse to Reach Out for Help?
Honestly, this is a question I have been wondering about for a long time. The irony of the work that I do as a therapist is that ministry leaders are one of the biggest referrers to my practice. They often instinctively see someone who is hurting and in need of help, and they are quick […]