BLOG
I started my journey of blogging in 2003 — mostly to capture what I called “transitioning life’s journey”.
In 2023 I took a 3 year break from blogging, but have decided to return to it. I hope you enjoy.
Explore by Topic
Search 20+ years of blog writing…
Rhett Smith Podcast 67: 3 Life Affirming Messages to Help You Breath Life Into Those Around You
Sunday was Father’s Day. And like Mother’s Day…it can bring up all kinds of emotions for people. Positive emotions. Negative Emotions. Feelings of joy and happiness, or anger and fear, as well as loss. And that’s just to name a few. I am very thankful that I have a very amazing father. I posted on […]
Rhett Smith Podcast 36: 3 Messages Life-Giving Men Communicate to Others (especially their sons)
Imagine you are in a room and two different type of men walk in. One is encouraging, inspiring and vulnerable. He’s not just there physically, but he has shown up emotionally as well. He’s connected to those around him. And because he shows up this way, others will feed off that and grow. He’s what […]
Rhett Smith Podcast 26: Why Men Have a Hard Time Connecting to their Emotions and the Positive or Negative Role You Play in That Process
It is not unusual for me to be sitting across from a man in my therapy office as he relays to me the story about when he first learned that it was not okay for boys to cry. It is usually a very powerful moment. I have heard men of all ages and backgrounds tell […]
Redefining Masculinity Around Relationships
Last month I wrote a blog and shot a video called Two Words You Should Never Tell a Boy. The two words I was referring to are “stop crying.” It’s a message that is devastating to boys and leads to lots of other problems for them in the future. Problems that I see everyday in […]
Men: Are You a Relational Hero?
“Each man is a bridge, spanning in his lifetime all of the images and traditions about masculinity inherited from past generations and bestowing–or inflicting–his own retelling of the tale on those who ensue. Unresolved depression often passes from father to son, despite the father’s best intentions, like a toxic, unacknowledged patrimony. Conversely, when a man […]
Marriage Counseling: Sometimes Men and Women Need to Laugh at Their Differences
I love working with couples in marriage counseling, pre-marital counseling, dating…it’s often a lot of fun. This video reminds me of how funny our differences as men and women can be. They are often very painful. But hopefully we can laugh at ourselves sometimes. Mark Gungor explains:
Two Words You Should Never Tell a Boy…..
“If you cry again I am going to take you back home!” That is what I told my almost 4 year old son on Wednesday night around 8:00pm. We were riding bikes and he was in that overtired state where he could hardly contain his emotions. He was crying. He was whining at his sister. […]
Be the ‘Life-Giving’ Man That You and Others Deserve
Are you a ‘life-giving’ man? That is a question that I am often asked. It’s a term that I began to talk about in my last book, What it Means to be a Man. But I’ve begun to explore it more fully in the last 6 months and it is the focus of my online […]
Why Ministry Leaders Don’t Get the Help They Need! (And What They Can Do About It)
I’ve grown up in the Church (son of church planters, pastor, spiritual director, chaplain). I’ve participated and volunteered in the Church my entire life. I’ve been on staff of churches for about 15 years. I love ministry, but I also know there are some inherent dangers in working in ministry. Burning out. Constant people pleasing […]
No Weak Men Allowed…..
No Weak Men Allowed….I think that is the message that men hear from the time they are little boys all the way through the rest of their lives. I know I have heard that message. I know the men I work with have heard that message. It may come from parents, grandparents, coaches, teachers, friend’s […]
Why Do So Many Ministry Leaders Who (Need) Desire Help…Refuse to Reach Out for Help?
Honestly, this is a question I have been wondering about for a long time. The irony of the work that I do as a therapist is that ministry leaders are one of the biggest referrers to my practice. They often instinctively see someone who is hurting and in need of help, and they are quick […]
The Imminent Threat to a Pastor’s Marriage
About 8 years ago I was sitting in a marriage and family therapy class at Fuller Theological Seminary when the professor made an off the cuff remark about the marital satisfaction of a pastor and their spouse. The professor’s experience was that pastors (in this case men) often rank their marriages as being more satisfactory […]
I’m Looking for Some Life-Giving Men!!! (Are You One of Them?)
Next Tuesday at 1pm Central(11amPST/2pmEST) I am very excited to be bringing you my webinar, 3 Simple Steps That Transform a Man’s Potential to Live a Connected and Thriving Life!!!. I have been working with men for a very long time in all kinds of settings — ministry, community mental health agencies, private practice. And […]
Are You a Man Who Gives Life to Those Around You? Or One Who Destroys It?
“Everyone one of you when you walk into a room can probably tell the difference between a man who is life-giving. That is, he essentially breathes life into other people. He is encouraging, passionate, listening. You know what that looks and feels like, right?” The men in the audience nodded their heads in agreement. So […]
Vocation: What/Who is Summoning You?
For the last seven to eight years I’ve really been exploring this idea of vocation, and it seems that it is a topic that I’ve had more and more conversations with people as of late. In fact, I blogged on this topic just a couple of months ago. In my opinion, still one of the […]
Question: What does it mean to be a man?
What does it mean to be a man? Moody Publishers hit the streets to ask people this very question.
Fathers: How Much Time Do You Spend With Your Kids?
As couples constantly negotiate their roles as parents and workers the amount of time that fathers spend with their children has tripled over the last three decades.
Video: “What it Means to be a Man” — Chapter 1: The Making of Men
This video introduction to my book, What it Means to be a Man: God’s Design for Us in a World Full of Extremes, explores the four basic male archetypes that are most often found in literature and culture.
How the Confluence of Pornography and Technology is Re-Wiring Our Brains
The below TEDx talk was recommended to me by some marriage therapists that I network with. I work with a lot of clients who are struggling with porn or who have a porn addiction. And there is a lot of topics covered in this video. What I find fascinating is the intersection of technology and […]
Video Introduction to “What it Means to be a Man”
This video is an Introduction into my new book, What it Means to be a Man. Learn more about why I wrote the book, who I wrote the book for, and how the book can best be used.

