It’s not unusual that I hear men in therapy say to their wife in session, “Stop nagging me.” I even came across this study and news story this month — Study: Nagging By A Spouse Could Shorten Your Life — The study states: But now a new study suggests husbands of nagging wives can actually […]

I think David Schnarch’s work on marriage and the concept of differentiation in relationships is life transforming. The idea of differentiation is not his, nor is it new. But his work Passionate Marriage has transformed my life in many ways, and continues to transform many of the couples that I work with. As a Christian, […]

I’ve been working with couples for a long time. And one of the most frighteningly, vulnerable moments that I watch most couples experiencing — is that moment when they have to take the risk and ask their partner for what they need/want/desire in the relationship. They may desire to have more help around the house. […]

“A sociologist once observed that the prevalence of intimacy themes in mass media, pop psychology, and ‘alternative lifestyles’ suggests that were driven by hunger for intimate union. It may look like this on the surface, but my clinical work helped me realize that there’s actually something else going on. We’re driven by something that makes […]

With so many marriage books out there, how do you know which books to choose from?

Last month I wrote a post asking you about what marriage books changed your life. I mentioned in the post that two and half years ago I wrote a post about the premarital books I recommend to couples.

“There lies within the heart of most human beings a deep longing for close companionship with another–one who like us, yet mysteriously and sometimes maddeningly different from us. That heartfelt urge has been there from the beginning, and most of us feel it long before we’re aware of our sexuality.” (pp. 9) Those are the […]

So I had no idea that when I set out to do a blog series about The Whole-Brain Child: 12 Revolutionary Strategies to Nurture Your Child’s Developing Mind by Daniel Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson — that I would write 20 posts on the topic. But that’s exactly what happened. And that’s how my brain […]

We’ve come to the final strategy in The Whole-Brain Child book by Daniel Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson, and I really love how they ended the book. I love it because it really resonates with the marital work that I do and stressing the importance of this ‘we.’ At The Hideaway Experience marriage intensives in […]

“The brain is a social organ, made to be in relationship. It’s hardwired to take in signals from the social environment, which in turn influence a person’s inner world. In other words, what happens between brains has a great deal to do with what happens within each individual brain. Self and community are fundamentally interrelated, […]

Earlier in Chapter 5 of The Whole-Brain Child, authors Daniel Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson talked a lot about awareness and helping a child stay in their hub, where they have the ability to bring awareness to what they focus on. From that central place (i.e. hub), a child can with intention look out at […]

Let’s be honest, sometimes I just don’t know the right questions to ask my kids when I want to better understand what they are feeling. Heck, many times I don’t know what I’m feeling myself so it’s hard to elicit a response from others, especially our kids. In situations like this, it’s helpful to have […]

“It’s very important that kids learn about and understand their feelings. But it’s also true that feelings need to be recognized for what they are: temporary, changing conditions. They are states, not traits…… So we have to help them understand that feelings are temporary–on average, an emotion comes and goes in ninety seconds. If we […]

I am a talker. I talk and talk and talk. Just ask my wife. Maybe it’s because I sit and listen all day to others talk. But really, I have always been a talker. I remember as a little kid talking to my mom and dad endlessly. In fact, I have one memory of driving […]

Have you ever noticed how much your children love telling stories? My daughter and son love telling me stories about their adventures each day, whether it be an activity my daughter did during P.E., or my son talking to me about a crash he had on his scooter. It seems that telling stories helps us […]