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I started my journey of blogging in 2003 — mostly to capture what I called “transitioning life’s journey”.
In 2023 I took a 3 year break from blogging, but have decided to return to it. I hope you enjoy.
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Daily Dose #12: Are You a Happy Mom?
Yesterday Dave Ramsey had author Dr. Meg Meeker on his radio program talking about her new book The 10 Habits of Happy Mothers: Reclaiming our Passion, Purpose, and Sanity. It was a phenomenal interview with her on the ways that mother’s can..as she writes about…“reclaiming passion, purpose, and sanity.” Her book Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters: […]
Daily Dose #11: ‘The Longevity Project’
How to Keep Going and Going: In an eight-decade study, parental divorce in childhood was the strongest predictor of early death in adulthood. There are no magic potions on offer here, but many of the findings are provocative. The best childhood predictor of longevity, it turns out, is a quality best defined as conscientiousness: “the […]
Daily Dose #10: “What do you fear most in your marriage?”
That is the question that Corey Allan addresses in his blog post, “What do you fear most in your marriage?” Failing to acknowledge a possibility does not make it go away. Inherent in every relationship is the ending of it. But when you honestly address the fact that relationships involve risk, you’ll likely find you […]
Daily Dose #9: Rilke: ‘On Love & Other Difficulties’
Rainer Maria Rilke on Marriage: “The point of marriage is not to create a quick commonality by tearing down all boundaries; on the contrary, a good marriage is one in which each partner appoints the other to be the guardian of his solitude, and thus they show each other the greatest possible trust. A merging […]
Daily Dose #8: Have You or Your Spouse Ever Thought About Attending a Therapeutic Marriage Intensive?
I have been blown away in the last six months by the transforming power of marriage therapy in an intensive setting. Especially in a group setting. I wrote at length about The Hideaway Experience on my blog back in November, The Hideaway Marriage Intensive: 4 Days, 4 Couples, 2 Therapists, and Transformed Marriages. Couples achieve […]
Daily Dose #7: Dealing With Sex Addiction
Sex addiction is a big topic in the news headlines these days, especially as more prominent celebrity figures have checked themselves into rehab for it. So it’s not surprising that this last month TIME Magazine ran a lengthy article, Sex Addiction: A Read Disease or a Convenient Excuse? Here are a couple of quotes from […]
Daily Dose #6: Be Who You Are
He discovers how much of his life is guided by what he thinks he should be, not by what he is. Often he discovers that he exists only in response to the demands of others, that he seems to have no self of his own, that he is only trying to think, and feel, and […]
Daily Dose #5: “Maintaining Relational Presence in a Technological World”
I recently just wrote the article, Maintaining Relational Presence in a Technological World, for the Fuller Youth Institute. In the article I quote a comment from a nun in Ronald Rolheiser’s book, The Restless Heart: My vocation is, at each moment, to make the person in front of me the most important person in my […]
Moving Towards, Rather Than Excluding One Another With Our Theological Differences
In all wars, whether large or small, whether carried out on battlefields, city streets, living rooms, or faculty lounges, we come across the same basic exclusionary polarity: “us against them,” “their gain–our loss, ” “either us or them.” The stronger the conflict, the more the rich texture of the social world disappears and the stark […]
Daily Dose #4: Shame and Identity
Shame occurs when you haven’t been able to get away with the ‘who’ you want people to think you are. Carl Whitaker in Facing Shame: Families in Recovery by Merle Fossum and Marilyn Mason
Daily Dose #3: Brene Brown-The Power of Vulnerability
Brene Brown: The Power of Vulnerability
Daily Dose #2: Suffering and Growth
In any case, when we avoid the legitimate suffering that results from dealing with problems, we also avoid the growth that problems demand from us. The Roadless Traveled by M. Scott Peck
Daily Dose #1: Hold Me Tight by Susan Johnson
I’m always looking for good marriage books to read and learn from. And one of the ways that I know it is a great marriage book is that it has a profound transforming affect on my own marital relationship. Such is the case with Hold Me Tight: Seven Conversations for a Lifetime of Love by […]
Ministry Leadership: Being ‘Authentic’ Doesn’t Mean ‘Bleeding All Over the Congregation’
It seems that everyone is searching for ‘authenticity’ in their leaders. At least a younger generation of people are wanting this ‘authenticity’. In fact, Thomas Rainer who co-authored The Millennials: Connecting to America’s Largest Generation with his son Jess Rainer, recently wrote this in the article 4 Things Millennials Want in Their Leaders: 3. Transparency […]
Pastoral Leadership: Why It May Be More About Your Family of Origin Than About Technique and Data Collecting
Family problems can often be resolved by having the parents or partners focus on and work at unresolved issues in their families of origin. By the same token, leaders must not only develop vision, persistence, and stamina, but also understand that the problems they encounter may stem from their own unsolved family issues, their organization’s […]
The Chemistry of a Church Staff
This is a guest post from my good friend Justin Lathrop whose company Help Staff Me in January of 2011 united with Vanderbloemen Search Group in an effort to serve the church with all their staffing needs. Whether it is a Jr. High Pastor a Lead Pastor or an Executive Pastor we are equipped to […]
So You Want To Get Married? Suggested Books and Resources for Your Premarital Preparation
“What books do you recommend we read in our premarital counseling?” That has been a question I have been getting a lot of recently. Whether it’s a Facebook message from a friend, an @rhetter comment on Twitter, or some email I receive from someone who came across my blog, it seems lots of people are […]
“The Power of Vulnerability”: Implications for Our Identity, Relationships, and Vocation
Brene Brown: The power of vulnerability This is just a great, great TED talk by Brené Brown, Ph.D., LMSW, who is a research professor at the University of Houston Graduate College of Social Work. She has spent the past ten years studying vulnerability, courage, authenticity, and shame. Brené spent the first five years of her […]
Note to Men: It’s About Being Intentional
I’m not sure why I wanted to write about this topic now. Because in reality, I have been thinking about it for a long time. Maybe it’s because I work with a lot of men. And maybe because a lot of the men I work with (both in counseling and in ministry) struggle between two […]
Change and Transition: Re-Defining and Re-Negotiating Your Marital Roles
[image by the Welsh Poppy] In a marriage, changes abound. The couple may move houses. They may move states. They might have a child, or two, or three, or more. The mom may work as a stay at home mom. Or maybe even the dad might take up that work (I did for a short […]