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June 17, 2005
My Marriage, and Being on Hiatus
If a man has recently married, he must not be sent to war or have any other duty laid on him. For one year he is to be free to stay at home and bring happiness to the wife he has married.
Dueteronomy 24:5 NIV
When a man takes a new wife, he is not to go out with the army or be given any business or work duties. He gets one year off simply to be at home making his wife happy.
Dueteronomy 24:5 The Message
Well, isn't this the greatest verse! So I'm getting married on Saturday, tomorrow. And I'm about to post my last blog before I leave for the wedding and honeymoon. My fiance might wonder why I'm even posting a blog right now when there are a million little details still to finish.
But basically...
I'm not to be sent out to war. That probably wasn't going to happen anyways. But I'm thankful for the all encompassing thinking here on the part of the OT writer of Dueteronomy.
I'm not to have any other duties brought upon me. What does that mean? No work? Bel Air, can I get a year off, paid? Do I get to let the bills go unpaid? Do I not have to do yardwork, or wash the dishes? Haaa....doubt it.
So, I get one year off to be at home with my wife and make her happy. That verse has been translated in many different ways, and I will leave it at that. Well, we don't quite get a year, but we get a great honeymoon, and we are really looking forward to spending our life together.
So please forgive me if I don't post while I'm gone. I just figure that if I know what is good for me, I won't post while on the honeymoon. So at the risk of losing traffic, I figure, that is a very miniscule, and non factor when it comes to getting my marriage off on the right foot.
So please enjoy reading, and perusing over my blog, my old posts, my links to other bloggers, etc., and I will post when I return in the next couple of weeks. It should be a great summer and rest of the year in the blogosphere as I have a lot of exciting things planned for the blog.
God has blessed me with a wonderful fiance, who is going to be my wife, and I would ask that you keep us in your prayers tomorrow as we get married, and as we go on our honeymoon.
Rhett
ps thank you to my webmaster Jared who informed me that if he saw any blogs come across his screen while I was gone he was going to kill me.
Posted by rhett at 09:35 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack
June 14, 2005
Meeting my childhood hero! Good "omen" prior to my wedding!
I rarely get too excited when I see a famous person, whether they are in movies, sports, music or politics. Though I imagine there are a few that I might get pretty excited about. Maybe that's because I live in Los Angeles, and it's not uncommon to see movie stars when I pick up my morning coffee at Starbucks.
But last night was a totally different experience. I was sitting at the gate in LAX, waiting for my flight to Dallas with my fiance. My fiance and I were cathing our last flight to Dallas together, preparing this last week, as we head into our wedding on Saturday.
And as I'm sitting there, this man walks by, who looks like Emmitt Smith, but I'm not quite sure. He looked a little older, and a little smaller than I thought Emmitt might look like. And he definitely was much more unassuming than I had imagined the leading NFL rusher would carry himself. Even though I hear stories of his humility and desire to be out of the limelight, it was even harder for me to determine if this was Emmitt, my childhood hero, and the man who graced my walls in photos and posters when I was in high school.
I turned to my fiance and I said, I think that's Emmitt Smith. Then I turned again, and said, on a scale of 1-10, I am giving an 8 that it is Emmitt Smith. Then I started eavesdropping.....yes...bad habit in public sometimes. And within a few phrases, like football, rushing, etc., I knew it was him. I turn to my fiance, and confirmed with her my discovery. Emmitt then proceeds to get up, ask us a question about the flight, and then heads to the gate. I was in shock. I turn to Emmitt's wife, and say, "Is that Emmitt Smith?" She says, "Yes." I was so excited I could hardly believe it.
A few minutes later, Emmitt returns, and I look him in the eyes and ask, "Can I shake your hand?" and "Are you Emmitt Smith?" In which his wife replies, "You didn't believe me?" I did. But how else do I enter into a greeting with my childhood hero.
Unbelievable. My heart was racing during this experience, which my fiance found a little odd I think, and probably not quite sure about another person, let alone another man, getting my heart rate to such a quickening pulse.
And that was it. I saw him on the plane when we boarded. I saw him come to baggage claim to pick up his own bags among the people who worship him. No special service. Just an ordinary guy it seems. This guy who was hardly noticed in LA could not get off the plane in Dallas, or walk through the terminal or baggage claim without everyone stopping, staring, and whispering.
It was an amazing experience to see someone you have grown up admiring, in such a gracious, and humble light.
What a good omen I thought to start off one of the most important weeks in my life. The week leading into my marriage. I will count this experience and encouter as a special gift from God.
Now maybe I'm a little too ga ga over this brief introduction, and maybe my fiance didn't like the fact that I told her I wasn't going to wash my right hand for two weeks after I shook hands with Emmitt. But everyone has that one person in life, that they want to meet. And for me, I never thought about Emmitt as being that guy. But meeting him was more than I imagined.
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Interesting article on Rob Bell
This is an interesting article on Rob Bell whom I posted about on June 4th.
Posted by rhett at 02:20 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
The Leaders of Today: Bel Air's college students shine through servant leadership
Here we touch the most important quality of Christian leadership in the future. It is not a leadership of power and control, but a leadership of powerlessness and humility in which the suffering servant of God, Jesus Christ, is made manifest.
In the Name of Jesus: Reflections on Christian Leadership, Henri Nouwen
It would be difficult to summarize what this year has been like for The Quest, the college ministry of Bel Air Presbyterian Church. How can you put into only a few words the images and events that have captured the imagination and helped transform the lives of our students over the year? But as we approach the end of another school year, it is a little easier in hindsight to see how things have come to be since we kicked off the school year back in August 2004. And the image that impressed itself on the forefront of my mind is servant leadership. Servant leadership is what we set out to do as a ministry at the beginning of the year. We have had both failures and successes as a part of this ministry year, but it is the students’ servant hearts of which I am most proud.
From the perspective of much of society, college students are often considered self-centered and lazy, and put into the category of those who are going to spell out the woes of the future of society. But that would be a wrong assessment, and one only needs to look to the students in Bel Air’s college ministry to see examples of true servants. Not only are they servants in their own ministry, but they are also servants in the ministry of the church as a whole.
As the College Director I have had the privilege of watching student leaders serve The Quest worship service on Wednesday nights in Evans Chapel. I have had the privilege of watching them lead more than fifteen weekly Bible studies on the campuses of UCLA, USC and LMU. I have had the privilege of watching them serve on mission trips in Mexico City during Spring Break, and will be privileged to see them serve in Germany, Malaysia and Turkey this summer. I have had the privilege of watching them serve in Bel Air’s Children’s Discipleship as Sunday School teachers, babysitters, camp counselors and Fantastic Followers.
These are a few of the things of which I am most proud, but the list does not end there. Why do I mention all of them? Because The Quest college ministry is a part of the larger church body of Bel Air, and we are thankful to you for your continued support. Your encouraging words, thoughtful gifts, finances and, most importantly, your servant hearts, have been vital to the life of these collegians. So as another class graduates this year, we are thankful for the seeds you have sown in our lives. They were seeds that were well planted and that will spread out into the world as the students you have cared for continue your legacy.
Last, thank you students for manifesting the
powerlessness and humility in which the suffering servant of God, Jesus Christ, is made manifest.
Bel Air Presbyterian's Top Story
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June 10, 2005
Just to stir the pot from yesterday's blog post....
"The basic premise that men need a princess to rescue has set back male/female relationship in the church by 30 years. He sanctifies a mythological view of 1950s male hood," said Chapman Clark, associate professor of youth, family, and culture at Fuller Seminary in Pasadena, California.
This article was released about 6 months ago.
So what do you think?
Posted by rhett at 04:06 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
June 09, 2005
The scary trend towards a new maleness and Christian identity
I am no expert on the battle that seems to be raging in our country, and our world, in regards to gender identity. But I have been thinking on this issue a lot, and my thoughts are only in the preliminary stages, so as to make any arguements or statements I make, a little rough at this point, and up for debate. And a pre-warning: I jump all over the place in this blog.
But what I do know is that there is a lot of confusion in our culture right now over femininity and masculinity, and it crosses many lines from socialization, to culture, to religion, to Christianity? Why am I talking about this issue? Mainly because this article appeared online yesterday, in regards to a French marketing study. And if you read this article, some of the findings are unbelievable, and scary as well. What is also amazing is the contradictory statements within the article. Here is a sample of some of the findings:
Macho man is an endangered species, with today's male more likely to opt for a pink flowered shirt and swingers' clubs than the traditional role as family super-hero, fashion industry insiders say.
"The masculine ideal is being completely modified. All the traditional male values of authority, infallibility, virility and strength are being completely overturned," said Pierre Francois Le Louet, the agency's managing director.
Arnold Schwarznegger and Sylvester Stallone are being replaced by the 21st-century man who "no longer wants to be the family super-hero", but instead has the guts to be himself, to test his own limits.
"We are watching the birth of a hybrid man. ... Why not put on a pink-flowered shirt and try out a partner-swapping club?" asked Le Louet, stressing that the study had focused on men aged between 20 and 35.
"He is looking for a more radical affirmation of who he is, and wants to test out all the barbarity of modern life" including in the sexual domain, said Le Louet, adding that Reebok with its "I am what I am" campaign had perfectly tapped into this current trend.
"There is an increasing desire for people to be in charge of their own lives, and an intolerance for any lack of autonomy," he told the debate.
"We have to help people to create their own look. And we absolutely must help people to dream, and if we help people to dream perhaps the world will be a little bit better," he said.
Dennis Prager who has been talking about this issue for the last couple of years, devoted his entire morning, this morning, to this issue.
This issue has cropped up in many circles, from the landmark book The War Against Boys: How Misguided Feminism Is Harming Our Young Men, to the popularity of books by John Eldredge and his team at Ransomed Heart ministries. Just the other day I was watching Fight Club, as Tyler rants about the demasculization of men, from culture, to possessions, etc.
Confusing? Yes. My students seemed to be confused as well. I listen as girl after girl tells me how no guys will ask them out, and guy after guy tells me that they have no clue what a girl wants, and they would just rather not risk it and be friends in a large social network.
Are the lines, and issues being blurred here? Yes. Do we have roles to play? Are there gender differences? Etc., etc.
This issue is especially confusing in the church where men and women seem to wrestle over Biblical and spiritual roles. And in most cases the theology tends to be bad, and often there is not much of a Biblical case of what they are arguing for. Maybe the question really is, as one pastor said to me: "The question is who we are in Christ?" It's a question of identity in Christ, not of gender identity. Because, what is it that really makes a man a man, or a woman a woman, outside of the obvious? Is it the roles we play, or the chores we do, or the leadership in the household, in the community, etc.?
A man can look like many different things. He can be tough, and sensitive. He can dress like a cowboy, or put on a suit, or even dress a little more "metro" as they say here in Los Angeles. He opens doors, and shows respect and courtesy. If he's married, his roles aren't limited to tradition, but he supercedes them and helps his wife in the house, and with the kids. His identity is not limited by his actions, or his roles, or what he wears. But rather, his identity is of that in Christ. And when we are in Christ, and we find our identity in Him, I believe we live out who we are supposed to be.
But for now, the war is raging, and this trend is going to continue to manifest itself in fashion, movies, literature, music and more. And for now, my students, as well as myself and others are going to have to continue to push our way through the battlezone and to look to Christ for our identity.
Jesus in Mark 1:9-11, begins his ministry, by knowing where His identity was. It was not in the things He could do, those things with which He was tempted by in vs. 12-13. But it was in knowing that He was beloved by God. "You are my Son, the Beloved; with you I am well pleased." (vs.11).
And when we find our identity in Christ, we are pushed beyond our conception of what things are supposed to look like, or the identity we find in roles. And in the church, when it comes to being male, it would seem fitting, that our identity is found in Christ, not in some role we have over women. It is found in being subject to one another out of reverence for Christ (Eph. 5:21). "Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her... (5:25)." It would seem that a man's identity is found in relationship to Christ here, not in his identity in relationship to his role with his wife. It is his identity in Christ that points him how to live, rather than maleness, or roles, showing him how to live. There is a fine distinction here, that is large enough to cause all kinds of problems, but I believe that when we truly understand this idea, we know what it means to be male, and we are not confused about it.
This is an interesting time to be living as the culture is shifting all around us, and at times, we allow too much of the culture to tell us how to live in the church. But as Christians, if we want to truly know who we are as male and female, it is with Christ we must begin. It is with Him that we must find and know our identity.
Posted by rhett at 06:07 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack
June 08, 2005
Dualing Online Personalities--Cyberspace Identity
If there is not a speciality developing in psychology that deals with this area, then it is probably on the way. And what area is that? Anytime you and I get online there is a good chance that we might act a little differently than how we might act in person. This is not limited to online surfing, or chat rooms, but carries on in our email correspondence all the time.
How many times do you get mad at some person, and rather than dealing with it face to face, or at least over the phone, you fire up some email and before you really have time to think about it, you hit send. And moments later, you have that feeling of, "oh man, I don't know if I should have done that." Somewhere along the way we lost our ability to communicate in person. But I don't think this affects everyone, but rather those of us who were trained in the computer era, and even more so for those who were born into it in the last 15 years or so.
But in that exchange, a disconnect occurs that may have never occurred if one was not invisible in a sense behind a computer. Email is only one area where this phenomenon is taking place. It also takes place in the blogosphere, where people will post comments in response to a blog, or a blogger will post an entry, without any regards to some of the content. People will get flamed, reputations trashed, etc., all with a few strokes of the keyboard. But somehow it feels safe behind a computer, when there is the great chance you will never run into that person, ever.
What about chat rooms, or sites that connect social circles, and bring people together. This is the area that has concerned me the most as of late. These sites combine a little of everything. Email. Blogs. Bios. Comments. Photos. Music. Etc. If you want it all, it is there. And it is in this arena that I have begun to see the dualing personalities of a person. People posting things, saying things that I don't think they would ever say in person. They do so feeling a sense of anonymity, not realizing that they are not anonymous....that could not be farther from the truth. And in fact, all of their stuff is there, for the record, for public consumption.
I've had parents as of recent stumble onto one of their child's spots on a website, shocked to find out that their child, who is living under their roof, is carrying about in this totally different manner.
We come to church on Sunday, put on our Sunday best, say the right things, but behind the computer it a whole other thing at times.
I am a fan of the world wide web. I am a fan of the blogosphere. All of these things have brought a lot of amazing things, and have created amazing communities that did not exist before. Years ago I did not have the privilege of hopping onto sites, and exchanging ideas with different bloggers when I was in seminary. Now I can move back and forth between hundreds of them, and have some of the most amazing exchanges.
But with great freedom also comes great responsibility. And I did something the other night that I thought I would never do. I created a space at My Space. This is something I ridiculed others for doing, but in the end, I thought I would create a site, only to advertise my blog (they hypocrite I am at times). I'm still not sure if I will keep the space or not. And I'm concerned about the dangers of anonymously building social networks with people you have no clue about. Call me a prude, but I think there are dangers. For now though, I will have to see if I keep My Space Rhett Smith.
Whatever our personality is, minus the computer and internet, there is always the danger of pushing the boundaries in cyberspace. If you don't think there are any dangers, or temptations in this, then you haven't visited Campus Hook, which for me is basically short for "campus hookup." Go on this site and you will see how easily sex is pedaled across the social groups like it is nothing. And the cheapness of sex is not my only concern, but it is the most obvious.
There is a phrase floating around the internet somewhere, but I have not been able to track it down. But it is a new area of research that deals with people's cyber identities, and how they take them online, when they would never be that idenity in person. If you know this technical term, or area, please let me know.
But for now...happy surfing, but think twice before posting a comment, or firing off an email to someone.
Posted by rhett at 06:31 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack
June 07, 2005
Deepening Our Conversation With God
What a great surprise today when I was browsing around Christianity Today-Leadership and came across a conversation from 1982 between Henri Nouwen and Richard Foster.
These two men are "giants" in the area of prayer, contemplative spirituality, etc., and it was interesting to turn the clock back 23 years ago to see what they were saying. I have not read too much from Foster, but I read everything by Nouwen that I can get my hands on. No author has helped me foster my spiritual life quite like he has.
Read the interview here.
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June 05, 2005
"I love evangelicals. You can get them to do anything. The challenge is, you've also got to soften their judgmental attitudes before they can be effective." says one of Yancey's friends.
Philip Yancey is one of the great writers out there, and he more than anyone else tends to have his pulse on the evangelical mindset. His writing is both intellectually stimulating and academic, but personal and accessible to a reader. In his latest article in Christianity Today, A Quirky and Vibrant Mosaic, he explores the many facets, and multi-dimensionality of evangelicalism.
This mosaic often poses a challenge to evangelicalism and Christians who are looking for homogenity in every facet of belief, practice and doctrine. While some recoil from this variety, many embrace it, and tend to see this mosaic as one of evangelicalism's strong points.
From my own experience, I attended a seminary, and am going back to graduate school again, to Fuller Theological Seminary, where there are over a 130 different denominations represented on campus. This makes theological education very interesting when you are sitting in class next to students who might be a Quaker, a Presbyterian, a Baptist, a Pentecostal, and a non-denominational. Everyone has different opinions on everything, but I think that is what enhanced my education. Some want to come out of seminary indoctrinated with all the right beliefs, but I enjoyed my experience of learning from this big mosaic. This mosaic is going to be even more prevalent in the coming decades as Christianity thrives in many countries outside of the US, where beliefs and practices tend to be very different than your typical non-denominational Bible church.
Yancey paints a good portrait of this group of people who are so hard to classify.
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June 04, 2005
A couple of new books with a lot of buzz...
My reading has slowed to a grinding, almost dead halt these last couple of weeks as I'm getting ready to get married. Funny what wedding preparation does to your reading schedule.
But there are two books that I am excited about reading, and of which I have been hearing all kinds of buzz about. And I'm sure they are going to be controversial as well.
Velvet Elvis: Repainting the Christian Faith
The first book that is not yet released is by Rob Bell, who is the teaching pastor at Mars Hill Bible Church in Grand Rapids, MI. He is also the man behind the NOOMA video series. I'm sure this book will cause quite a stir, but I am looking forward to getting a copy and reading it.
Post-Rapture Radio: Lost Writings from the Failed Revolution at the End of the Century
This second book I have only recently heard of because of a lot of bloggers raving about it online. Quite satirical, with dead on accuracy regarding the destruction of our culture. Russell Rathbun is the teaching pastor at House of Mercy church in St. Paul, MN.
If any of you have read either of these books, please let me know as I would be real interested in hearing about them.
Posted by rhett at 11:35 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
June 03, 2005
Remembering our history
"Wisdom is the right use of knowledge. To know is not to be wise. Many men know a great deal, and are all the greater fools for it. There is no fool so great a fool as a knowing fool. But to know how to use knowledge is to have wisdom."
Charles H. Spurgeon
English preacher of 19th century 1834-1892
I think that one of the most important lessons that I have learned as of late, is this. That as Christians, or as any people really, we belong to a historical community, and are not simply lone rangers reinventing the wheel at every corner. I think that is a true statement, though the daily reality of it is not so true. I think that most of the time we fail to remember our community and its historical roots, and we go about as lone rangers doing things our way, never learning from the past or present. I see this no greater place than as I see it in ministry.
I belong, and am employed by a PCUSA church. There is history. There are roots. There is community that extends beyond what I tangibly see everyday. It is a force that grounds us, sometimes in good ways, and sometimes in ways that cause struggle. Either way, I realize I am not my own. I belong to something.
But recently I have come to see how often we as Christians forget these roots, forget the communities that came before us, and we try to do things in a new way, thinking that old must not work, and that new must be better. I think this is particularly one of the sins of us in ministry at times. We think that ministry is about us. We think that is about what we can provide. It is about the knowledge we have to offer, and the gifts we can use to dazzle people with. We move out of the community then as lone rangers, reinventing the wheel, and not learning from history or our mistakes.
We live in a culture that values newness, and innovation, and rarely is anything around too long in LA, and often that mentality seeps into our church and spiritual life as well. I'm 30 years old and am young enough to think that I have all the answers, and may know something more than those older than me. But that is a lie, and when I think this way, I have truly failed to walk in humility in the community that I am a part of, or the community that has paved the way for me. Whether that be the 1st century community of Christians, or the Reformers, or the Presbyterians, or Evangelicals, or Bel Air itself. And someday when I get older there will be some younger kid who thinks that he or she has all the answers as well.
As a reminder of our history, I give you this great article and reflection on the life of Charles H. Spurgeon, truly one of the great preachers and Christians who ever lived. This article, and his life was a reminder to me that I have inherited a rich heritage from those who came before me, and it is my duty to be thankful of this heritage, to walk humbly in it, and to remember that I am not my own.
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June 02, 2005
Some fascintating reading that explores our dark side
Mark Roberts has a fascinating series over at his blog titled, "The Lure of the Dark Side." I particularly enjoyed his post today, 2 Corinthians, The Lure of the Truncated Gospel.
The dark side, in relation to ourselves, is not something we talk about very often. We will quip over things that we see as dark, or things that are dark that come up against us, but hardly do we think about the dark sides of our own personality. In fact, you may not even believe the notion of having a dark side, or of being tempted, or lured to darker things.
The famous psychologist, thinker, writer, Carl Jung researched a lot on what he termed our shadow side, where the darker side of our ego existed. Some Christians may mark that up to being a bunch of hog wash, or something like that, but I think we are mistaken as people when we fail to recoginze our own allurement to the darker,or more seductive things in life.
I still remember writing one of my research papers in my Practical Theology Class on the topic of pastoral ethics. In this, I took a real life example of a pastor who had recently been caught up in all kinds of scandal, and in the process was forced to leave the church, along with hundreds of staff. And the one common denominator that seemed to continually arise was the inability for those in powerful positions to recognize their own struggles, or struggle with the "dark" side.
Mark's series on these issues is a must read, especially for those in positions of leadership, not only in ministry, but in whatever area of life you are working.
Posted by rhett at 07:21 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
Welcome to the new blog site.....
It has been a little crazy getting a new blog site off of the ground, but I am excited that it is finally here. There are a few kinks that I still need to work out, but I am very happy and excited to be at this new site.
If you have a link on your blog to my old site, you will need to put in this new address, as we are still working out the issues with automatic redirection from my old blog.
But I hope you find this blog useful, informative and enjoyable. And I plan on my blogging to be more frequent than it has been as of late.
Thank you to Jared Kleier at Ocean Front Media for his work not only on this blog, but at our new college website at The Quest.
Posted by rhett at 12:37 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
