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May 31, 2005
What's up with guys and nicknames?
Props to my friend Mike Trozzo who is an amazing photographer and artist. He can take any photo, make it look great, while doing some cool things with it. If you notice the photo above, it says, "Terrcakes." You may be asking yourself, "Who is Terrcakes?"
Well that's me. But don't go around using it on me. Guys are funny about nicknames. My name is Rhett. But with my close group of guy friends we have tended to shorten names, and often go by the last names instead of the first, which is common when four dudes in your group are Mike. So they called me Rhett. Then it was Rhetter. Then Ter. Now just Terrcakes. Why? I have no idea.
So Terrcakes is the new moniker, and the photo was taken from my bachelor party a couple of weeks ago. A big event with a great group of guys. Relaxing, surfing, eating, sleeping, spending some time in prayer. Not your typical bachelor party, of which I am thankful.
As for "The Big Delicious", I have no idea, but I think that plays into the idea of the photo looking like an album cover.
But what's up with guys and nicknames? Sometimes you don't even know who someone is, that you actually know, because no one calls them by their name. I suppose we carry on a good tradition. Jesus seemed to be in to changing people's names, giving them some new name that fit who they were. But as for my friends, I'm not quite sure of what the name exactly means.
Posted by rhett at 10:55 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack
May 29, 2005
Wow! I get chills from this....
For those of you who know me, I love C.S. Lewis's the Chronicles of Narnia. So I am excited and a little fearful about the movie coming out.....but take a look for youself at The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe
Posted by rhett at 11:27 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack
Post College Blues...
This is an interesting article from Relevant Magazine on the "blues" that students go through after graduation.
It is quite different when that immediate social circle disappears, and a new one must be developed.
Check out the article.
Posted by rhett at 10:55 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack
Back on track on the blogosphere, and the chaotic ordering of life!
It seems like it has been ages since I have posted a blog, or at least anything worth reading. You would think that blogging is important, especially to me since I seem to talk about it all the time. But, apparently wedding plans rank much further up, or at least that's what my fiance has told me, especially recently.
Well, I'm only three weeks out from getting married, and the stress and time crunch has been bearing down on me that I haven't had much time, or at least much time to reflect on much of anything that I though important.
I am beginning to realize just how important it is at times for me to have my life ordered. I like things neat. Clean. In their place. And when they are not, I have to work to get them in that place. Chaos has not been something that I have really embraced, though I really want to at times. Life is chaotic and messy a lot of times, and I think it's important to learn how to live in that space of life without having everything neatly put.
But what I am finding is that I live internally with a lot of chaos and unanswered questions and ideas, but I don't much like living with my external reality being in chaos. Somehow I have managed to live in that balance of chaotic inner life and ordered outer life. Is that the way it is supposed to be? Is one of them supposed to bring the other out of chaos and into order...or vice-versa...or does it much matter?
Maybe, we order our outward lives and dress them up all nice and neat to hide or mask the inner realities of our life, and the chaos of them. Maybe walking into a clean room, and having a clean kitchen helps me feel better about the turmoil that is brewing inside me. Or maybe I'm just rambling because it's 12:45 in the morning in Texas!
What all this has made me think about was the continuity that Jesus seemed to exemplify in both his internal private life, and the outward life of His in community. When things seemed to be going a little rough, or weariness seemed to catch up on Him, it was always important for Him to order His life, what seems like His private life, around that of the relationship with His Father. In Mark 1:35 we see Him getting up very early to go out and pray, and to begin His day in that alone time with God, so that His chaotic day would be ordered around that. There was a correlation in His living. His inner life influenced and gave shape to His outer life, and vice-versa. When His outer life was an indicator that His inner life needed attention, aloneness, intimacy with the Father.
Does that make sense? So why is it that we don't often see that correlation? When our life gets crazy on the outside, all we think we need to do is work a little harder, burn a little more midnight oil, stress a tad bit more, and if we push it hard enough we can accomplish everything on our own power and ability. How long is it before we break down and realize that our chaotic life was a sign that something was off in our inner being? That maybe what we needed to do less was to strive harder and harder, but rather, go to our Father in prayer so that He could help bring peace to our situation, and renew us for the next thing.
I am really stressed out right now! I have rarely had these many things going on in my life at once. Now, I have dealt with a lot of stress before, and some major life changing events, but the combination of an approaching marriage, a new house, back to graduate school and ministry, is beginning to take its toll on me. And what I realize is this....That I rarely turn to God immediately. Usually I must come crashing down to earth on fumes before I realize that it is only God who can bring a sense of order and peace and rest out of the outer and inner chaos that is my life at times.
So in these remaining weeks of school, for some of you....and job searches for others...or for whatever may be on your plate. May you stop what you are doing right now....and turn to your Heavenly Father in prayer, so that He can restore your soul. May you stop running, and trying to do everything on your own.
Posted by rhett at 10:33 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
May 17, 2005
Faith and Frat Boys
Very interesting article in TIME Magazine. I know a lot of you in my group are members of a fraternity or sorority, and I thought you might find this article interesting or relevant. I know this has always been a tough, and sensitive issue in the college ministry here at Bel Air. Here is a link to the article, or read below for the full story. Faith and Frat Boys: Can devout Christians reconcile their beliefs with college culture? A look inside one campus.
Religion Faith and Frat Boys Can devout Christians reconcile their beliefs with college culture? A look inside one campus By JEFF CHU/BLOOMINGTON Monday, May. 02, 2005, page 48At 3:30 on a Sunday Morning, Brandon Straub soberly surveyed the bodies draped across the sofas in his fraternity house at Indiana University. Two girls cuddled and exchanged a languid kiss. One's breast popped out of her low-cut top. "Aaaawesome," drawled one of Straub's frat brothers. Straub could only muster an awkward half-smile. "I'd be lying if I didn't say that seeing some of these scenes makes me sad," he said. "How will they feel when they wake up in the morning?"
Truth is, most of them wouldn't be up in the morning. By the time the revelers rose, after noon, Straub, 21, who is not only a loyal fraternity member but also a leader in the Greek InterVarsity Christian Fellowship, had already gone to church and come back. As some of his frat brothers nursed hangovers and others cleaned up from the night before, Straub pondered his situation. He walks a fine line of faith at Indiana, which is currently ranked by the Princeton Review as America's No. 15 party school (and No. 5 in the category "lots of beer"). The challenge, Straub says, is "How can I serve God and love the guys here?" College is traditionally a time of transition and new freedoms, the years when young people have to figure out for the first time who they are. The task is even more complex for the growing number of devout young Christians on secular college campuses who feel called to approach this time in a way that sets them apart. They draw inspiration from Paul's letter to the Romans:"Do not be conformed to this world." But the Bible gives few details on how to navigate the collegiate world in 2005, leaving Christians to grapple with tough questions as they try to integrate their beliefs--and themselves--into college life: Can they be, like Straub, both a brother in Christ and a brother in a frat? Or should they live only with other believers? How do they deal with stereotypes of Christianity that others may hold? And what does it mean to live out their faith on a secular campus like Indiana's?
Faith matters to students as they head off to college, but then it tends to lapse. In a national study issued last month by UCLA's Higher Education Research Institute, 79% of 112,000 freshmen surveyed profess a belief in God; 69% say they pray. Still, only 40% think it is very important to follow religious teachings in everyday life. Spiritually,"college is a time of flux," says Alexander Astin, the study's co--principal investigator. That leads to "a dramatic falling-off of religious participation during the undergraduate years." But a significant minority are holding fast to their faith. Fourteen percent put themselves in the "other Christian" category--dominated by the nondenominational Protestant churches that have proliferated across the U.S.--up from just 5% in 1989. And 26% of the students surveyed call themselves born-again Christians, which would be a natural constituency for religious-fellowship groups on campuses. Evangelical student leaders at Indiana University estimate that fewer than 5% of the 30,000 undergraduates participate in one of the campus's Christian groups. But that's an uptick since the stridently secular 1960s, says dean of students Richard McKaig. In the past five years, "attention to spirituality has been especially strong." But committed Christians seem to want more than just spiritual living. "They're looking for something deeper," he says.
At Indiana, there are five main fellowship groups for evangelical students. The distinctions tend to be stylistic rather than substantive--the religious equivalent of J. Crew vs. American Eagle vs. Abercrombie. Campus Crusade is the largest, drawing as many as 350 students to "Cru," its weekly meetings, which, like those of all the groups, feature singing, Bible study and prayer. (Students say it's the best for dating opportunities as well.)The Christian Student Fellowship (CSF) is set apart by its house on Greek Row in which students of faith can live together. The Navigators, known for rigorous Bible study, are seen as more intellectual. InterVarsity is the most ethnically diverse, with higher numbers of African-American, Asian-American and Hispanic students in its ranks. And Greek InterVarsity is aimed at fraternity and sorority members.But all the groups tend to go about their business quietly.quietly. "They kind of operate under the surface," McKaig says. Josh Sanburn, editor in chief of the Indiana Daily Student, notes that the number of students in the fellowships is roughly the same as the school's African-American student population, but unlike the Christians, "the black students on this campus are very good about making sure they're heard." Evangelical students, however, see their spiritual mission differently. Says sophomore CSF member Emily Hoefling: "We usually believe what effects people more than a newspaper article is to see people living Christian lives."
Joshua Hoke, 21, a preacher's son from Franklin, Ind., was more interested in having a good time than in setting a Christian example when he arrived at Indiana in 2002. At home, "Christianity wasn't a choice, and I wanted to do what I wanted to do," he says. "The culture of college is, If it feels good, do it." He says pot was his drug of choice but admits that he also drank heavily and even tried cocaine. None of that felt as good as he had hoped. One night in his sophomore year, he went for a walk, talking along the way to a God he wasn't sure was listening. "I said, God, are you even on this campus?" Hoke recalls. As he wandered down Greek Row, he heard music. "I thought it was a band in some frat," he says, but it was actually CSF's worship team. He saw the CHRISTIAN STUDENT FELLOWSHIP sign outside the house and went in. Today Hoke lives in the house with 54 others, in what director Bill Kershner says is "possibly the biggest Christ-centered community living together on a college campus." CSF bought the house in 2001, after the fraternity that had occupied it was suspended for alcohol violations. Christian students share rooms with one or two other like-minded students, eat their meals in a communal dining room and get together for one-on-one spiritual mentoring and small-group Bible study. One women's group is studying Song of Solomon; an all-male group is looking at biblical role models like Abraham, King David and Jesus' disciples.
Some CSF members say they wanted the academic challenge of a secular school but appreciate the house's spiritual ethos. "It's almost like going to a Christian school," says Andrew Harper, 23, a senior from Indianapolis, "but you're not totally excluding yourself from the world." Says Tyler Irwin, 20, a sophomore from Polson, Mont.: "I don't want to put myself in a compromising position, with lots of alcohol and lots of girls and not a lot of clothes." House rules ban drinking, tobacco, illegal drugs and premarital sex. Room doors must be open when students of the opposite sex are together inside. Marks of holy living are everywhere. In the corridors, residents have posted snippets of Scripture, like FLEE THE EVIL DESIRES OF YOUTH. On a recent Friday night, as other Greek Row residents headed for bars, CSFers watched the animated filmThe Incredibles in their basement lounge.
For believers who live together--at CSF or in off-campus houses and apartments--insularity is a real concern. Lane Bowman, 22, a Crusade senior from Chesterton, Ind., lives with four other Christians and admits, "I'm immersed in a Christian bubble." He says he prays regularly that he can break out of his bubble and share his faith. But his cultural cues--his music, his books--are almost all Christian. The "angry music" that he liked in high school--such as Eminem's--is out, replaced by Christian rockers like Sonicflood. His nonclass reading tends toward books like Lord, Change My Attitude (Before It's Too Late), a guide to Christ-centered thinking by Illinois pastor James MacDonald.
Reaching out to other students is easier for the faithful who live in regular campus housing. Senior Kathryn Nelson, 22, a Crusade member from Milford, Ohio, recalls how she invited the atheist girl across the hall in her old dorm to join her at Bible study and would talk with the Jewish girl two doors down about faith. Now that she shares a house with nine other Christians, she has lost such casual, everyday interactions. "When you're living with people who aren't Christians, your ministry is right in front of your face," she says.
That was what attracted Greek InterVarsity's Straub to frat life. He pledged after an older InterVarsity member told him it would be "an incredible ministry opportunity," he says. "Try to think of another time when you'll live with 100 other guys, most of whom don't want to be bothered with God right now." But influence can flow both ways. Early in his freshman year, Straub found himself waking up after a couple of drunken nights, suffering a spiritual hangover of guilt. Now he leads a weekly Bible study in his secular frat. It's a daunting challenge, but he draws strength from Paul's letter to the Ephesians, in which the Apostle urges believers to "put on the full armor of God, so that you will be able to stand firm against the schemes of the devil." The idea "is very manly," Straub says with a smile. "If I'm
saying to God, 'You're my man,' then I have to aspire to be a warrior for him." Christians at Indiana say one of the biggest battles they fight is the stereotype that they are intolerant of the way other people live. "I'm in a Teaching in a Pluralistic Society class," says
InterVarsity member Jennifer Beach, 19, a physical-education major. "People will talk about how women are oppressed and how that comes from the idea in the Bible that women have to be submissive."Others lament that they are lumped with fundamentalist Christian groups--whether or not they agree with them. Protesters from Old Paths Baptist Church in Campbellsburg, Ind., 50 miles from Indiana's Bloomington campus, have come to the school weekly, toting posters of aborted fetuses and shouting anti-gay slogans. A picketer spotted Greek nInterVarsity member Samantha Schein wearing an Alpha Phi sorority sweat shirt and told her that she lived in a "house of sin." "I said, 'Can't you just be quiet?'" says Schein. "Other students will just assume most Christians are like that." What is true is that some of the students are making their mark in ways that will never draw much public attention. On the first Tuesday night after Easter, Greek InterVarsity president Peter Howell went door to door in his house, Sigma Nu, inviting his brothers to Bible study, as he has done every week for the past two years. Just two of the 70 brothers accepted the offer, but that doesn't mean the rest haven't been affected by Howell. "In the biggest meathead frat, he's himself. He's 100%. And no matter what day I say no, he'll always come back," says junior Trevor Loe, who declined to attend that week's session. "One day, when I'm ready, I'll remember Peter."
Posted by rhett at 07:19 PM | Comments (0)
May 13, 2005
Sex in the Body of Christ
I'm glad we preached on the topic of sex for four weeks back in February and March, because there has been a lot of interesting and relevant articles and discussions as of late. Here is a good one from Christianity Today, Sex in the Body of Christ
Posted by rhett at 11:36 AM | Comments (0)
Reflections on Leadership of a Ministry in Progress: Part 4: Failure, and Looking Beyond
"The most important of my discoveries have been suggested to me by my failures."
~ Sir Humphrey Davy
This quote reminds me of the thinking of Thomas Kuhn in his remarkable book, The Structure of Scientific Revolutions when he comments on the fact that most scientific discoveries come about by failure, not by successes. In fact, many failures. Kuhn makes this comment within the context of paradigm shifts, and how these scientific discoveries that come about through failure, often help transition science into a new paradigm. I think this is also true of ministry!
I know that the ministry we have today is a result of our failure in many ways. But through failure, we have persevered to bring about success in many ways, and in other ways, we are still experimenting. Why am I thinking so much about failure these days? Is it some unhealthy or morbid fascination? No. I think it's because this graduation season will mark a season in the ministry that I oversee. It marks the cycle of me watching new students come in as freshmen, and leave this year as graduating seniors. And I have recently been reflecting on this occurrence, and in hindsight I have realized how much of our joys, triumphs, succesess, have come about from previous failure.
I think failure is not something any of us want to have in our life. But how we deal with failure will often determine the future in many ways. Through failure we learn to mature, persevere, hope, love, trust, place faith in God. And these students have seen me fail in many ways these last four years. Whether it was failing at teaching and preaching, or counseling, or administratively, they have seen me fail. And sometimes they have let me know about it...and other times they have not. But they have always journeyed with me in my failure, with grace, love and patience. When times were tough, they could have bailed out at anytime. Why not? They were volunteering their time...time they often didn't have. They weren't getting paid. There wasn't glory or fame in their tasks. But they were able to look beyond the failure, to something greater.
They were able to look at the task at hand, and peer into the future. They were able to grasp and understand that ministry, that being a Christian takes a lot of work, and that there is going to be failure. But it was something that was worth the risk. After all, if they didn't seize this opportunity, who would.
I think they were able to view the situation much in the same way Jesus must have viewed the situations with his disciples. Talk about failure. Jesus was around a lot of it. From the failure of his disciples understanding things (read Mark...the disciples seem like a lot of bumbling fools). To the failure of "the three" to stay awake in the garden long enough to pray for Jesus at His time of trial. To the failure of Peter claiming that he knew Christ. Jesus was around failure. Failure at the most inimate level. But Jesus saw something that was more important. He saw people in progress. People who didn't have all the answers, but were on their way to understanding what He had called them to.
This failure was an intimate failure, but maybe that's what often gets us to persevere. Jesus peered into their hearts and knew that His investment in their lives was worth the risk and failure. Maybe intimate failure is more successful in sprouting success in the future, because there is a name, a face, a relationship.
My students and I are intimate friends, journeying together in what God has called us to do. When we fail, we fail together. When we succeed, we succeed together. But failure is the crucible by which our failures have been tested in, and what comes out of it is something solid, beautiful and lasting.
Ministry is full of many changes, and I am still learning and growing as a leader. I'm sure there will be many more changes that none of us can forsee, and there will be some that we know of. But I know that we are on this journey together, and that failure is part of the bittersweetness, that makes success so wonderful.
I hope that you look at failure in your own life and ministry as a step in leading you in the right direction, rather than as a wrong way. I have read before that failure and succeses are like a rug that is woven together. From the backside it looks a little rough, and uneven, and jagged, sometimes going in wrong directions. But when it is turned over, it is a beautiful tapestry. I think our lives are much like this. Our failures, wrong turns, bad decisions, come together with our successes, and joys, and weave a beautiful pattern.
Thank you students, for allowing me to fail, and for never letting me feel like I was alone on this journey.
Posted by rhett at 11:26 AM | Comments (0)
May 11, 2005
Reflections on Leadership of a Ministry in Progress: Part 3: Journeying Together...To The Senior Class of 2005
What would life be if we could not do it together? What would ministry be if we could not do it together? The Apostle Paul tells us in I Corinthians 12:14, "Indeed, the body does not consist of one member but of many." And what would our lives, or ministry be like if we tried to do things on our own. We are only as effective as a ministry, and in living our life, in that we do it together.
I think that one of the dangerous mentalities in so many ministries is the desire or thought that one must do it alone. There are a bunch of lone rangers without much of a community around them that they can journey with. And I'm sure the reasons vary: Maybe there is no one to journey with you; maybe you are a perfectionist and want things to only look how you want them to look; or maybe you want to get the glory and think that you can do the job better yourself, therefore not allowing others in on the journey.
We are all get of some of these things. But once I was able to grasp the idea of progression from stage to stage, and the notion that good leadership is horizontal leadership that involves everyone, I was much better able to appreciate the journeying aspect of ministry. I by no means have these things down. Sometimes I want to do things on my own, and I want to be a dictator in my own little kingdom.
But I have had the privilege these last three years of being able to come alongside with my students as we journey together in ministry. And as we have journeyed together we have learned much more about what it means to fail together; what it means to succeed together; what it means to laugh and cry and grieve and rejoice. And we have learned what it means to trust. To be in relationship with one another, knowing that each one of us is playing a vital function in the body of Christ. I may be the director and the one who has to make decisions that they cannot, but it is something we do together. It is something that we do as we consider the health of each member and the whole of the body.
I believe that any good leader is one who leads within. It is the shepherd who leads the sheep, but he does it within the flock. He sets the pace and the tone, but he journeys with the people, never above or beyond them. Some may say..well, then you are not a good leader, because you are not out front setting the pace. But I think that is too simplistic. Good leadership is journeying with those that you are in community with, where you are not too afraid to show weaknesses as well as strengths.
I am not saying I have this quality or that I do this right, but it is something I strive to be. I do not echo the sentiments of those leaders who think they must be totally separate from their people...not see the same movies...not think the same thoughts. In a generation that is hungering for authenticity and truth from its leadership, I hope that all of us can learn to lead within the community and not set ourselves above it.
So to you seniors, class of 2005, whom I have had the privilege of journeying with, this letter is for you. We came in to this ministry together, you as freshmen, me as an intern. We have journeyed together, and it has been amazing. And now we end our journey together in one sense, but it will continue on in new ways. Thank you......
To the Quest Senior class of 2005:
Seniors. You will always hold a special place in my heart. You may be thinking to yourself, yeah right, but it’s true. You are the first class that I have witnessed coming in as freshmen, and leaving four years later as a senior. We have been fellow traveling companions these last four years, and we have come a long way together. You saw me arrive as a seminary intern in 2001, and were probably even a little more shocked when I became the new college director in 2002. But I thank you for your grace…your patience…your love…and especially your sense of humor. Especially when I did not know what I was doing, and was prone to mistakes.
I tell most everyone that I meet that I have the best job around. Who else has the amazing vocation of working day in and day out with some of the most amazing people. We have been through a lot together as well. You have seen me go from a young 26 year old man who was crazy about women, and who was hanging out all hours of the night with you. But hopefully you have watched me fumble my way through life as I’m learning to know what it means to be a 30 year old man who is soon to be a husband, and hopefully someday a dad. And I have had the privilege of watching you all come in as wide-eyed freshmen, not quite sure what to do with yourselves, but I have seen you grow year by year into amazing young men and women who love God, and who I am privileged to call a friend.
As I said at the top. You will always hold a dear place in my heart. Many of you are like family to me, and we have had the joy of sharing life together. Guys: You remind me of my younger brother, except for the poker, the streaking, the undie runs, mafia, and the, “would you like to go to coffee” pick up line. But for the most part, you remind me of my brother, and you never fail to make me laugh. There were many times I tried not to laugh at some of the things, but I could barely hold it in. Girls: Many of you have been like a little sister to me. As I watch you date I think to myself what it would have been like to have a little sister: a) I either want to beat the guy up who comes to the door or b) I am excited because I know the guy has found an amazing girl. So though we may not actually be brothers and sisters by birth, you are a part of my family, and we are definitely brothers and sisters in our Lord Jesus Christ.
There are many other things I would like to say, but I’m going to try and keep it short and end it here, which is hard for me. But let me leave you with a couple of things. A verse, and a poem. First, the verse: Paul to the younger Timothy in I Timothy 4:12-13. “Let no one despise your youth, but set the believers an example in speech and conduct, in love, in faith, in purity.” Seniors, I have no doubt you will continue to set this example as you have so beautifully done here.
Second, a poem. And though it was written for the poet’s father on his deathbed it is the challenge I want to give you.
DO NOT GO GENTLE INTO THAT GOOD NIGHT by Dylan Thomas
Do not go gentle into that good night,
Old age should burn and rave at close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
Though wise men at their end know dark is right,
Because their words had forked no lightning they
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Good men, the last wave by, crying how bright
Their frail deeds might have danced in a green bay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
Wild men who caught and sang the sun in flight,
And learn, too late, they grieved it on its way,
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Grave men, near death, who see with blinding sight
Blind eyes could blaze like meteors and be gay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
And you, my father, there on the sad height,
Curse, bless me now with your fierce tears, I pray.
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
Seniors, go out into that night, and rage against the dying of the light, and bring the light that you have been into this world that needs it.
I love you guys and gals,
Rhett
Posted by rhett at 07:23 PM | Comments (0)
May 10, 2005
Oprah: Church or Cult?
I was reading on Hugh Hewitt today, and came across an interesting read by Al Mohler. He posts an interesting article about Oprah Winfrey and her "Life Your Best Life" tour.
This is a fascinating subject to me. Because I am intrigued as a Christian and pastor that Oprah seems to possess an ability to foster a sense of community more easily than most churches. Now we could debate on what commmunity is, but let's just say that most churches would love to have the type of committment in their church, that people have to Oprah. And I think that her honesty and authenticity is what draws many people. Sometimes those are things lacking in many churchse. On the other hand. Sometimes I am freaked out by how obsessed people are with Oprah, and that their own judgment can become clouded on issues.
If you doubt her influence, than read this article in Christianity Today, The Church of O.
Posted by rhett at 01:10 PM | Comments (0)
Reflections on Leadership of a Ministry in Progress: Part 2: Non-Hierarchial and Horizontal Leadership
(Part 2 in a series of 10)
"Therefore, true ministry must be mutual. When the members of a community of faith cannot truly know and love their shepherd, shepherding quickly becomes a subtle way of exercising power over others and begins to show authoritarian and dictorial traits. The world in which we live--a world of efficiency and control--has no models to offer to those who want to be shepherds in the way Jesus was a shepherd."
--In The Name of Jesus: Reflections on Christian Leadership, Henri Nouwen
One of the toughest learning processes for me in ministry when I first began was learning how to not be authoritative and hierarchal in my position. I believe that my own personality does not lend itself well to authoritarian leadership anyways, but being put in charge of a ministry can test that assertion. Empowerment of the laity sounds like a great idea until you are the one that feels like the power is slipping away in the process. Which is a really funny thing! Wasn't it Christ, who in Philipppians 2 gave us the model of someone who did not consider "equality with God", or power as something to be grasped at, or expoited? But rather, gave us the model of humility. So why do so many of us in ministry, rather vocationally or volunteer, grasp for power and identity? Why do we want to be the one's in charge? Why do we seek to put ourselves in spiritually significant positions?
Since I was the new college director I felt a great burden to have all the answers, to make all the decisions, and to make sure I knew everything that was going on, down to the most minute detail. I mean in a sense, the buck stopped with me, so I did have a responsibility. But I learned a lot in my first couple of years that the more I grasped for control, and to make all the decisions, and to make sure everything ran through me. The more exhausted I became, the less involved the students were, and the more the ministry suffered in the process. And then I decided to make a decision based on a conversation with my former boss.
He said, "Rhett, you can do one of two things. One, you can do everything yourself, so that it is done exactly how you want it to be done, and is perfect in how you want it done. Or, you can let the students be involved, and though it may not turn out how you had wanted it, they will be involved. And it may in fact turn out better than you had wanted it to. These are your two choices, but you can't have both."
I will never forget that conversation. And based on that talk, I decided that going into my third year that I would relenquish as much power and control that I could, without being negligent in my job, and failing to be faithful to my employers, the church, or my students. After all, the college ministry has always been student led.
And in my opinion, this has been the best year since I have been in the college ministry. Now, maybe not everyone would agree with that. But I look around and I see more people involved, and using their gifts than in the past. I see things, decisions, and events taking place without my knowledge or consent to do so. The website is a visual example of that. And I think that is a good thing.
We are learning what it means to do ministry together. We are learning what it means to come together as the body of Christ that Paul talks about in I Corinthians 12. We still have a long ways to go, and we can always improve on certain things, but I think we are learning to be about discipleship and ministering together, as a team, rather than everyone waiting on one person to make all the decisions, and to do all the thinking for us.
As the college director it is still my responsibility to be the "pastor", and to make the decisions, and perform the functions that the church is paying me to do. But I cannot do ministry without my students. Our college ministry would never be as effective if it was lived out in a hierarchal way, day in and day out.
My students come to me as the director, but I also go to them as coworkers in Christ. And the overall ministry is the thing that succeeds when we come together, and allow God to do the work.
Living out a model of minstry that is non-hierarchal, and that allows for horizontal involvement can be challenging. But I have learned a lot....what it means to grow leaders, to live in, and embrace, and learn from failure. To be able to forgive, and allow for people's weaknesses as well as their strengths. And most importantly it has taught me what it means to go about the difficult task of servant leadership which is not always easy in the church. These are some of the things I would never be learning if the ministry was all about me, and these are some of the things that I will be sharing more with you in the next several days.
Posted by rhett at 11:44 AM | Comments (0)
May 09, 2005
Reflections on Leadership of a Ministry in Progress: Part 1: Stage Progression
(Part 1 in a series of 10)
July 1, 2002 will officially mark three years since I have been serving as the full-time college director at Bel Air Presbyterian Church. I really can not believe how fast time has flown.
This year is a really special year for me as I am about to watch students graduate that I have had since their freshman year, when I began interning in the ministry before I became the college director. And this is a special bunch of people. We have been through a lot together. They have watched me make some brutal mistakes along the way, sometimes leading to failure, and they have been with me to take some risks, as we have watched the ministry grow in many ways. But through all of this, one thing has been certain. And that is, that we have tried many different styles and ways of leadership, and I think have found that there is no clear cut model for how to lead in ministry. There are many ideas, and many different patterns for leadership in ministry, but it sometimes will go through many phases of experimentation.
Now maybe all the changes and experiments have more to do with me as a leader, than the nature of ministry, but I have enjoyed being on the journey together with these students.
When I first took over for the ministry three years ago, the first task that I set out to do was to give us a new name. The old name didn't quite fit the message I was trying to convey to the group.
I decided that I wanted a name that signified the idea of progress. Something that conveyed the idea of people in progress, from one destination to the next. I was influenced very much by Eugene Peterson's paraphrase/translation in Exodus 17:1 of The Message:
Exodus 17
1 "Directed by GOD, the whole company of Israel moved on by stages from the Wilderness of Sin."
I loved this idea of GOD, directing His people by stages. GOD didn't take them from point A to Z. But rather from A to B. Or maybe A to C. He took them as far as they could go, until they could go no further. Sometimes in ministry I think we can try to take our people farther than they are equipped. Don't get me wrong. Sometimes God calls us to go farther than we think we can, and sometimes it is possible that our expectations are too low in ministry. But I resonate with the idea that GOD directed His people by stages through the wilderness. And when they could go no further, He brought them to camp to rest, until it was time to move on.
This idea I hope is conveyed in the name of our ministry, The Quest. I want this ministry to be a place where college students in all walks and stages of their faith can find a place. No matter where they are at, they can come in, and know, that GOD will help direct us from one stage to the next. This is not a ministry that asks you to be able to pass some Bible exam or litmus test to determine if you are fit to be a part of the group. Rather, we want everyone to be a part of this ministry, so that we can all be directed by GOD through the widerness stages of our life.
Posted by rhett at 08:25 AM | Comments (0)
May 06, 2005
Life is speeding by....being single, dating, getting married.
You have probably been wondering why my last few posts have been about embracing life, and living in the present. Or maybe you haven't. But as I head closer and closer towards marriage, I am realizing how fast life pasts us by, and how we seldom sometime take the opportunity to enjoy life from one destination to the next. Life can be more about achieving goals and moving from one to the next, than it is about relationships, quality time, silence.
I am in Arizona this weekend at one of my best friend's weddings. And it seems upon returning that I am about the only one not married. Not only am I not married....yet. But I'm also the friend without any kids. All my friends have kids. And all of their lives are drastically different than mine.
I have been living out in Los Angeles, pursuing school, chasing down some dreams, and my friends have been doing the same, but also getting married and raising families. It seems obvious that Arizona is a much more dating, marrying, having a family, friendly society.
And after watching my friends run around with their kids, and watching how the trajectory of their lives have changed so much, I am somewhat envious, and am to looking forward to getting married and having a family one day.
Most of you who read this blog, my college students are not near marriage and are not thinking about it. But what being with my friends reminded me is that life goes by really fast, and it is a good thing to embrace and enjoy it. It's also a good thing to remember what is important. Things like friends, and family, and making good decisions that promote those relationships. Los Angeles is not a culture that promotes the quality of relationships too much, and I think that we can at times become pretty selfish as we head down the path towards fulfilling all of our own goals, at the risk of sacrificing some important things.
There is a time to be single. And there is a time to marry...at least for some of you. Enjoy the stage that you are in, but prepare yourself in both your singleness and dating and marriage, to go down the path that is most beneficial to the relationships that make up your life.
This is my daily rant for this weekend......now off to the wedding.
Posted by rhett at 12:55 PM | Comments (0)
May 04, 2005
Living in the questions?????
"Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves. Do not now seek the answers, which cannot be given you because you would not be able to live them. And the point is to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps you will then gradually, without noticing it, live along some distant day into the answers." -
--Maria Ranier Rilke
That is perhaps one of my favorite statements from one of my favorite poets. We all have a lot of questions in our life right now, that we would like to be answered right now. Like, "Why is it so hot in Arizona?" (I'm home for the weekend at a friend's wedding, and forgot how hot it gets..in May). Or, "What am I going to do when I graduate?" Or "Who am I going to marry?" These are some of the questions that are common, and can plague us. Everyday questions that we all live in.
Your question may be different. It may be as unimportant as, "What am I going to eat tonight?" Though I guess that question becomes important if our answer has been In and Out everytime. And then they might be more serious, like, "When is my mother going to be healed of cancer?" The point is, we all live with many questions. Some questions have immediate and simple answers to them, and others do not.
But what I have realized as being important is not the questions themselves, always, but rather how we approach the questions. How we live in the questions. Maybe some questions are not to be answered, like, the question of evil in the world, or, "If God is all powerful, and all good, then why is there so much sufferring?" Maybe I am not to answer that question. I spent a good deal of my time in seminary and other times in my life pondering questions that may not always have answers. And I have learned to live with those questions, without trying to have all the answers. Maybe someday they will come, and maybe they won't.
Maybe I will never know why my mom died of breast cancer when I was 11 years old. That cannot be answered, at least not to my satisfaction. And too much questioning of that question, takes away from the living.
I am coming to believe that one of the most important ways that we can embrace life in it's fullest...today..and live it most abundantly, is when we learn to live in the questions. When we learn to live in the tension of not knowing.
As Rilke so eloquently puts, maybe we are not able to live properly in the questions we have at this point in our life. Maybe there will be a time when the answers will come to our questions and we will finally feel like we can live life. But we cannot wait until that time. We are to live life now, questions and all.
I think for many Christians, myself included, we can often be more about trying to sufficely answer all the questions we have about life, and about God, before we go on living. We are not always comfortable about living in mystery. So we work really hard at memorizing all the correct apologetic doctrine to help keep us armed, and to help us answer any question that may come up. Because God forbid we are ever unable to answer a question (in case you can't tell from my tone, I am being sarcastic..haaa).
Maybe we should live each day to its fullest, questions and all. And if God so chooses to, He may one day reveal the answers to these questions we have.
My main question right now is, "Will I be able to possibly get everything done before my wedding?" If that's my main concern, then I might not fully live and appreciate the time I am living in right now...before the wedding.
Posted by rhett at 03:16 PM | Comments (0)
Blogging for books
I am very excited about a new endeavor I am taking on here. I will be reviewing books for Mind and Media, which is a blog dedicated to this very thing...reviewing books, especially those that deal with issues of faith.
The first book I will be reviewing will be Escaping the Matrix, published by Baker Publishing Group.
Posted by rhett at 02:44 PM | Comments (0)
May 03, 2005
Embracing life right now...
You might be wondering to yourself why you have been coming to my blog and not seeing much change...not much new information...no new writing. My only excuse, and it is not a good one, is that life has just been too, too busy.
Between planning a wedding out of state (June 18), buying a new house, working with carpenters, plumbers and electricians...and oh yeah..my job with college ministry, and preaching every week...life has been really busy. I have experienced busyness before. I have experienced life when you feel like you can't possibly make one more decision, or do one more task, otherwise you may just mentally break down. But this is really the first time that I have had this many, life changing, life altering events...all happening at once. Getting married, buying a house is a lot of life changing. And oh yeah...I forgot to mention. I'm starting a Master's degree at Fuller Theological Seminary in September in Marital and Family Therapy. I will still be the full-time college pastor here at Bel Air, but I believe God has been calling me a long time to get more professional training in counseling.
So life is busy. All of us are busy. Many of us have plans, and we are working towards those plans. Some of us have even put "life on hold" while we work towards our plans, toward our future. We have two year plans. We have four year plans. We tend to live life in blocks of time, or we tend to not live it at all unless we move past that block of time into what we consider life.
We say things like, "As soon as I graduate, then I will get a real job." "I will grow up when I graduate." Or, "I will date someone more seriously, or who is more right for me when I get out of this phase." We all say things like this.
But I have begun to realize an important lesson recently. I have always thought this way, but I have never really lived this way. Our life, our living...it is now. It is not in the future, it is not when we have our act together, it is not when we have "our ducks in a row." But most of us instead, tend to wait for those things to happen.
I had the privelege of having lunch yesterday with Hugh Hewitt. Hugh is someone I respect, and I wanted his advice on some things, and I wanted to thank him for all his help. And I realized, Hugh is a busy guy. But he is not someone who uses busyness to keep him from the daily living of life. He is embracing life right now, and going after the things that are important to him, and pursuing the things that he wants to accomplish. And after our lunch I felt encouraged about pursuing more immediately some of the goals and desires that I have for more life. I could wait, and put them off, and hope for better conditions, or I could pursue them now. Rearrange my priorities so that they align more correctly with my desires. Hopefully never removing my relationship with God, my future wife, or my family from the top of that list.
I may have watched one of the worst movies I have ever seen on Sunday night. I went and watched A Lot Like Love. Okay..maybe it's not the worst ever, but it's pretty bad. You judge for yourself. But there was something I walked away with from that movie, once again as a reminder to me that God is sovereign and works in mysterious ways. But one of the main themes in the movie was that life is what is happening to you right now. Life is not what we put off, and hope that the future will be much better. Ashton Kutcher's character has his six year plan layed out, and once he accomplishes that, then he can work on other things. He can go on with life. But the problem is, life keeps passing him by. Because he is waiting, he misses out on the people, and the things that are right before him.
It was a reminder to me that life is what we have before us. It is our friends, our family, our work, our passions, and hobbies. It is not what we don't have, and our waiting to someday attain. As a Christian, I do live in hopeful expectation of the future, of living in the presence of God for eternity. But as a Christian, God has called me to embrace life right now..in its fullest, and to live it abundantly. "I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly" (John 10:10).
Embrace where God has you right now, and don't keep waiting for the future to happen to you.
Posted by Admin at 08:25 PM | Comments (0)
